As a person suffering from depression and anxiety for many years, I decided to give the Ibogaine treatment a try after all other conventional medications and talking therapies had failed to offer any relief from my symptoms and was not disappointed by it.
First of all, I would like to thank Cathy and Bilal for their great hospitality. Their home is a very welcoming, friendly and family orientated environment which helped me settle in instantly. The food was exceptional and very organic. I had no idea food could taste so good, which was a nice change from all the processed garbage we eat here in the UK. It got to the point I genuinely looked forward to meal times because it was so good!
My depression and anxiety had affected virtually every area in my life from my relationships with other people to my working life. To say I couldn’t connect with other people would have been an understatement. my relationships in general were non-existent and my sense of self was completely diminished to the point of what felt like extreme depersonalisation.
I pursued Ibogaine as a last resort after all other treatments has failed to alleviate my symptoms and what followed was exactly what I had been searching for. The Iboga trip itself and the preparation work involved is very tough however, the benefits are more than worth it. To put things bluntly my trip lasted roughly 24 hours followed by what they call the “grey day” which lasted about 36 hours.
Following the Iboga trip itself I can honestly say my life has done a huge U-turn in all areas that were affected. The first thing I noticed was my sense of self had completely changed. I got up, walked around and couldn’t help but notice everything had changed for the better.
My sense of depersonalisation was gone completely, I could actually feel it when I looked around that things were different. After walking around outside for a bit I began to notice my depression and anxiety were now under my control. I now had the space I needed in my head to control my thoughts and feelings the way I had craved for years. Even the way I experienced my own body was better. my movements and energy just felt more natural. I also had really bad acid reflux and can honestly say the Ibogaine took care of that too. As crazy as it sounds even my appearance had changed, I actually looked healthier and had more of a glow about me. Seriously.
Two weeks on and now that I’m back home things are continuing to improve the way I had hoped they would, following the Iboga experience. The first thing I noticed was my social anxiety had improved drastically. being amongst other people was infinitely easier and has helped improve my relationships with everyone from my family and friends to my work colleagues and even women. I was chronically shy around women and the Iboga has helped me break out of my shyness and actually talk to women with ease. One of the biggest things I have taken from this is the clarity and stillness of mind that I have achieved to the extent that everything from decision making to eye contact is significantly easier. I’m eating considerably more food since the acid reflux has been taken care of by the Iboga which I did not expect to at all. As a practitioner of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Judo and submission wrestling I need a lot of calories to keep my energy up and remain competitive.
To summarise I am extremely grateful for both Bilal and Cathy’s service as I am now enjoying a quality of life that just was not possible through other forms of treatment. If you’re in the same boat as me where other treatments have failed and are considering pursuing Ibogaine then do it. The truth is everyone no matter what their situation is can benefit from Ibogaine. To a certain extent I actually feel sorry for people who haven’t done the Iboga experience as it’s the most liberating and freeing thing you can do for your mind.
If my symptoms were ever to return, I would not hesitate to call Bilal and Cathy and book another session and would gladly go through the tough aspects of the experience again. To quote Bilal “Ibogaine is a miracle cure and at the same time it’s not”. what this means is that yes it will help to obliterate your symptoms however, it is up to yourself to maintain a positive outlook on life and stay away from old habits and negative thought processes otherwise you will be back to square one eventually. Me personally I have taken up meditation and practice gratitude on a daily basis to help maintain the clarity of thought I had been chasing for so long. I still have a lot of work to do in regards to keeping on top of things but can honestly say I’m in a much better place both mentally and emotionally than before I began treatment.
